alright, ticklers

take my money!

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by your best friend erin griffith•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

Buddies.

Things are not great right now in the tech industry. Disinfo. Misinfo. Harassment. Tech addiction. Congressional hearings. Big fat fines. Antitrust investigations. That whole genocide thing. Pick your poison. WOOF, amirite!?

But what if I told you that there is a land, fellow Business Heroes™️, where things are not so bad.

Where the beer flows like wine. Where the charge card limits are so high they melt your hand. Where people follow you down the street screaming, “Take my money!” Where you respond, “Okay, okay! Fine! Jeez!” and promptly spend that money buying up all the available billboards, busstops and airport ads in the tri-state area. Where the unicorns gallop freely and majestically, selling things to other unicorns. Where those unicorns have pet dogs named after coding languages, and those pet dogs subscribe to homecooked meal services.

That land, of course, is startup-land. It is from there that I filed this dispatch: a profile of Brex, a startup that provides charge cards to other startups. I had fun writing it. Not everything in tech is a total drag. (Just most of it!)

🦄Bad Times in Tech? Not if You’re a Start-Up Serving Other Start-Ups 🦄

Important Business Matters

Startup everyone’s into: MINDTICKLE.

Startup everyone’s over: Disgraced VC and Business Hero™️ Mike Rothenberg, shown below in a now-iconic-for-the-wrong-reasons picture, owes the SEC $30 million.

Reason to go on living: Ruth. Bader. Ginsburg: “That senator, whose name I have forgotten, is now himself dead, and I am very much alive." Also: Internetty writing is helping us express ourselves better.

Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: Do I even need to say it here? What a difficult weekend. I hope this newsletter provides a tiny bit of counter-programming.

Latest crush: I want to be Jia Tolentino’s Grub Street Diet when I grow up.

Latest heartbreak: The Business Heroes™️ at Netflix cancelled Tuca & Bertie. :(

Latest thing the kids are into: Saving Playboy, for some reason. Weed etiquette. Instagram bibles. Freemasonry.

Latest thing the olds are into: Adult bedtime stories. Ceaselessly looking back. BINGE DRINKING! Also: Holding out hope that we, too, can someday offer something of value to society, thanks to this not at all patronizing list of “35 over 35” from American Scholar.

Latest thing the bone-saw-ordering crown princes are into: Glow-in-the-dark sand, flying cars, robot dinosaurs, fake moons, artificial rain, and 24/7 surveillance. (really!)

Latest thing the VCs are into: Toy Story cosplay as a recruiting strategy.

Latest thing the day traders are into: Fang dip.

Latest thing the startups are into: Tips. 🙄

lol nothing matters

It is time, fellow Business Heroes™️, to ask ourselves. How are the unicorns handling their enormous piles of cash?

current status expressed by stock photography:

"take my money"

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•🦄the end🦄•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

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