everyone can see that

greenhushing, GRO-SOUL and the fountain of youth

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by your best friend erin griffith•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

Buddies, what a week for the Heroes of Business™. Have you posted your fawning congrats message to social media yet, where everyone can see it? (They do know everyone can see it, right?)

If you haven’t, it might be too late. Here’s a story about how the Business Hero™ tech CEOs have been quietly, navigating this Trump administration very differently than they did in 2016. They started laying the groundwork with phone calls and outreach months ago, trying to avoid the embarrassing televised Trump Tower-perp-walk situation that happened last time around.

Two more stories about the election and tech:

• How crypto bought itself a Congress.

• How Elon bought himself looser regulations.

The rest of this newsletter is election-free.

Important Business Matters

Startup everyone’s into: Function Health - a subscription provider of what sounds like constant biomarker health testing.

Startup everyone’s over: A.I.-designed tattoos —> taboo! soulless!

Reason to go on living: No reason to go on living this week! If you have one, please send it.

Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: Crypto is not a magic solution to authoritarianism; do not record your abortion on the blockchain.

Latest crush: This guy who fact-checked the confident math on the All-In pod.

Latest heartbreak: Raygun has retired from competitive breaking, but she is also collecting that #sponcon from some Australian shopping start-up, so I guess this news a wash.

Latest thing the kids are into: Zyn (but you knew that).

Latest thing the olds are into: NAD+, the IV for eternal youth.

Latest factcheck: Standing desks don’t actually help! Everyone can sit back down.

Latest backtrack: Intel took away free coffee for employees as part of cost-cutting (was a bulk order of k-cups really that expensive?!), but morale is so bad they’re bringing it back. Woof.

Latest groan: “Greenhushing” - the new way companies are quietly getting around the “E” part of the ESG backlash by still trying to be green, but doing it in secret so as not to attract attention from the backlashers. It’s kinda like having two sets of books, except in this case, the fake, public books destroy our planet and scream “drill, baby drill,” and the real, secret ones try not to, but no one knows how hard they’re trying since it’s a secret! (Greenhushing is a catchy term and all, but I prefer “the coward’s KPI.”)

a dall-e summary of this newsletter:

There is a lot happening here (what is that white puffy animal??), but I must say, dall-e’s struggles with letters and words its most charming quality. GRO-SOUL indeed!

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•the end•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

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