restaurants are the new billboards

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by your best friend erin griffith•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

Friends, I know it’s hard to remember, just one year ago, dockless electric scooters were a CRAZE! Everyone was Team Scooter, even the haters. But now it is the Summer of 2019, or it was, and the scooters must grow up and fight for survival. A classic startup tale.

My story on What’s Up With the Scooters involves lawsuits, a protest, bounty hunters and the Coyote Ugly saloon:

🛴 Welcome to San Diego. Don’t mind the scooters. 🛴

And to make it about me (🤮 ), the Times had me to a “Times Insider” story where I talk about the reporting of it.

💅 Here’s that! 💅

In other news, Peloton, the stationary bike company that is so much more than just bikes, is going public.

I wrote about whether the company can do what other fitness fads could not:

🚴 Peloton is a Phenomenon. Can it last? 🚴 

I live for getting new words in the Times!

And because nothing is really new:

Lastly, the Times has done a lot of reporting on Jeffrey Epstein’s connections to prominent techies and tech institutions. I’ve helped a little on it and am very open to tips about where this money has landed. If you have information, send me a note and we can Signal/WhatsApp/your choice of platform.

Important Business Matters

Startup everyone’s into: Brex, the unicorn’s unicorn we wrote about earlier this summer, has opened its own restaurant. Restaurants are the new billboards, friends.

Startup everyone’s over: Overpriced alcohol-flavored gummies (Bye, Sugarfina). |

Reason to go on living: New York’s solution to rat apocalypse is… mystery death buckets. (Warning, this article contains some disgusting photos.)

Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: 2019 is 70% over, how are your resolutions going???

Latest crush: We’re not ready for redemption yet.

Latest heartbreak: Athleisure and the tyranny of the ideal woman.

Latest blaze of glory: As more print publications shutter, their final issues get sassier:

Latest pppppppptttttttttttttttttttttttt: WeWork, which has raised $10 billion in equity funding, could go public at a… $10 billion valuation.

Latest thing the kids are into: White Claw, but only because they’ve given up on trying to be cool.

Latest thing the olds are into: Fake national sell-you-stuff days.

Latest thing the 1% are into: $7100 sofas shaped like hot dogs.

Latest thing the FBI is into: Investigating one of Peter Thiel’s funds.

Latest legal strategy Uber is into: Drivers are no longer core to its business.

In memoriam: T. Boone Pickens, the best tycoon on Twitter.

lol nothing matters

Fellow Business Heroes™️, we all know the rules. It is mandated by the Gospel of Paul Graham’s Twitter Feed, or whatever, that publicly criticizing tech start-ups is professional suicide and probably illegal. Their work is sacred and their egos are very delicate! Anyone not complying will be thoroughly dragged.

So it is time, Heroes™️, to ask ourselves, how will we scorn and shame anyone who dares blaspheme our founder-gods?

current status expressed by stock photography:

“scooting straight to profits!”

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•🦄the end🦄•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

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