JP Morganified collectors of AUM

plus agentic, the a24 of vc, more theranos and millengrool

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by your best friend erin griffith•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

If you don’t remember subscribing to this newsletter, probably sometime like 8 years ago, hi, this is a collection of some links and other random thoughts about unicorns (the start-up kind) from me, your best friend erin griffith. It arrives extremely sporadically!

Friends, I have been informed, via the newborn infant babies running around my place of employment known as “Gen Z,” that my use of both gifs and emojis is embarrassing, cringe, cheugy and millennial (all synonyms). When I asked about my beloved ascii art, I got a (,,•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ,,)

So I considered giving EGTttHoB™ a little facelift to be a bit more “on trend” as the shilling influencers say. But then I realized something.

I have studied of the Business Heroes™. I have read their ancient scrolls (thought leader podcasts). I have plumbed the clay tablets of their civilization (twitter threads and Telegram groups). And I can recognize when I am being Manager-Moded.

As the biological parent of this newsletter, I give myself full permission to use my intuition.

✨💼 🧑‍💻💵🚀🔑💲👑 Founder Mode, ACTIVATE! 🧑‍💻💵🚀💼🔑💲👑✨

Relatedly: I’m all about free speech for the thinkbois but I endorse this take:

The news this week is about The Future of Venture Capital. Is it JP Morganified collectors of AUM? Or is it tiny partnerships that never change? The debate is raging, with VC firms out here predicting a mass extinction event for their fellow capital allocators.

Here’s a story about a firm that’s eschewing both options because it wants to be the A24 of VC:

📈Start-Up Investors Push Back Against Venture Capital’s Bigger-Is-Better Mantra

🤖Also from me: A tiny history lesson on the term AGENTIC - tldr, it used to mean the exact opposite of how everyone in AI is currently using it.

Important Business Matters

Startup everyone’s into: DIY pirated medicine.

Startup everyone’s over: Adios a Miami.

Reason to go on living: The Bolt saga just keeps on giving. What could be more Founder Mode than your investors sending you a restraining order?

Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: A $1.9bn acquisition is still a down round.

Latest crush: A whistle-blowing hustler?

Latest heartbreak: The “safe” vehicles we drive end up killing more people.

Latest thing the kids are into: Cell phone-free clubs.

Latest thing the olds are into: Theranos heads will be interested in the company’s role in this story about an FDA official with questionable ethics (whose wife represented Theranos while it was seeking approval).

Latest thing the platforms are up to: Facebook’s latest attempt to make itself seem appealing to young people is a thing of beauty. They’re not even attempting to sell Gen Z on the social networking part of the big blue app. They’re pitching cheap furniture on FBMP and also Facebook Dating, which apparently still exists. “Facebook is your companion to help you get the most out of your twenties.”

(,,•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ,,)

a dall-e summary of this newsletter:

“It blends the millennial and Gen Z aesthetics with a playful and whimsical touch, capturing the generational clash and the mix of old and new internet culture.”

Millengrool? Millengrool!

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•the end•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

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