no cap, ur portfolio is fire
"acting like a crazy person for fun, profit, and political power"
*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by your best friend erin griffith•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•
Buddies, I have always wondered if there would be a day when news influencer Walter Bloomberg, who anonymously tweets out Bloomberg terminal headlines and other breaking financial news, would step in it and set off a wild day of market whiplash by sharing something inaccurate. Monday was that day!
The incident has made me think about the gap of time between when news happens and when reporters can verify it, organize it into a coherent and accurate context, and publish it on their websites. One way journalists often narrow that gap is by constantly thinking about what’s going to happen next and also having enough time to do something about it. Sometimes that means scooping the news, (ie, finding out what’s coming and telling everyone), other times it means doing the legwork and simply being prepared (ie, not having to scramble when news hits).
A lot of time it involves pre-writing versions of a story so all the tedious fact-checking of basic info is done and background context is already compiled. On my beat that has involved writing stories with amusing fill-in-the-blank sections speculating on a very good outcome, a very bad outcome, and something in between. I’ve done this for earnings reports, IPOs, fraud trials, various corporate announcements and the most inevitable of all pre-writes, the obituary. Plenty of these pre-writes have languished in the CMS, never seeing the light of day. (Pour one out for the Postmates IPO!) But most of the time they are a great help in getting the news out fast.
Lately it feels like the news has moved way too fast to anticipate basically anything, and there has been a lot more time between news happening and the news actually reporting on it. One reason I suspect it feels longer for the news to land because that time gets filled by news influencers, commentators, and prediction market bets. This week’s wildly unpredictable tariff drama showed that.
It’s being called the “chaos era,” because nothing seems to follow coherent logic and relentless, nonstop surprise and shock often feels like the point. The Economist’s cover this week is “The Age of Chaos.” Max Read connected the President’s sowing chaos strategy to the dominant social media operating mode of our time:
Over the last ten years or so, “acting like a crazy person for fun, profit, and political power” has been a remarkably consistent play. The only downside risk, as far as anyone can tell, is short-term embarrassment--a temporary setback that can be easily overcome by continuing to act crazy until it works again.
In other words, everything is reality TV or WWE or manufactured drama. This environment makes it easier for actual fake news like the Walter Bloomberg tweet to spread and actually move markets. (And lo and behold, here we are a few days later with a 90-day pause anyway.) The chaos strategy has been very successful for a certain subset of risk-taking Business Heroes™ who don’t care about short term embarrassment. But what happens when everyone follows it? I’m exhausted thinking about it!
Important Business Matters
Startup everyone’s into: Arta, the AI financial advisor that speaks in the most hilariously awkward gen z slang. (“No cap, ur portfolio is fire!”)
Startup everyone’s over: Two more alleged start-up frauds: The Nate founder was charged with securities fraud for claims made to investors. And the CaaStle founder has been accused of some truly wild revenue claims.
Reason to go on living: Oh my god this story of two best friends sending each other the same birthday card for 81 years is so cute.
Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: People in tech are scared to express disagreement with Elon Musk, Issie Lapowsky reports for Politico. Free speech! Don’t worry, SF Standard reports they’re talking it out in therapy.
Latest startup founder dilemma: How will Charlie Javice teach pilates in an ankle monitor?
Latest crush: This unhinged rant about why couches suck (“they impose their will on the room”) amused me.
Latest heartbreak: This story is horrifying and I can’t stop thinking about it.
Latest thing the kids are into: New party rules:
(The problem I see is many attendees of “sf house parties” would probably enjoy, even welcome, a timeout to check their social media and/or polymarket trades.)
Latest thing the olds are into: Thriving as LinkedIn influencers.
Latest thing the towns are into: The dumbest solution to a speed trap I’ve ever seen.
Latest “no shit” moment: All the men paying to text with hot models on OnlyFans are starting to suspect maybe its not the model who is texting them.
a dall-e summary of this newsletter:
lol the 4o image upgrade is somehow so much better and so much worse
*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•the end•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•
Thanks for reading, buddies! If you enjoy reading EGTttHoB™, I’d love it if you would “like” this post and forward it to all of your BFFs. If you enjoy hatereading it, I have the same request. But if you just plain hate reading it, please tell no one, or maybe an enemy!