the contrarian's contrarian

a friend of “well, actually,” and a distant cousin to the devil’s advocate

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by your best friend erin griffith•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

Buddies, do you ever feel trapped in your own horrible life, so sad, terrified and broken that the only thing left to do is pedal a bike that goes nowhere forever and ever until you die?

Neither do I!

On the other hand, do you ever worry your contrarian views are becoming so popular that they are no longer contrarian? It is a real conundrum for my venture capitalist friends. So relatable. I present to you:

🤯What Makes a Narrative Violation? 🤯

Meanwhile, have you heard about Liam, the chatbot that the Business Heroes™ at Facebook created to help its employees learn to regurgitate PR talking points to their families over Thanksgiving?

🤖 Facebook Gives Workers a Chatbot to Appease that Prying Uncle 🤖

Lastly, here’s a story about why founders are jumping from consumer to enterprise. It involves a pig farm in Hawaii:

💼 With Big Tech in their Path, Start-ups Turn To Business Markets 💼

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.••*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

Important Business Matters

Startup everyone’s into: The “Silicon Valley punchline” that’s worth $4 billion.

Startup everyone’s over: Kitty Hawk, Business Hero™ Larry Pages’s flying car whateverthehell.

Reason to go on living: They’re making smaller loaves of bread for smaller families.

Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: The Class of 2000 “could have been anything.”

Latest crush: Late bloomers.

Latest heartbreak: RIP lil Bub.

Latest thing the kids are into: Butt-chugging sunlight. (I’m sorry)

Latest thing the olds are into:  Natural disaster dinner parties.

Latest thing the Instagram killed: The tabloid star

Latest thing the Internet is losing its damn mind over: That grim Peloton ad.

lol nothing matters

Fellow Business Heroes™, I asked our friendly chatbot buddy, Liam, for some advice on how we should explain our employers’ roles in the destruction of democracies around the world to our inquiring families over the holiday dinner table. Here are his suggested lawyer-vetted and PR-approved responses. Please do not stray from this delicately crafted script. Liam, how do we respond to tough questions?

current status, expressed by stock photography

“happy holidays!!!”

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•the end•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

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