*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by yōur bēst friēnd ērīn grīffīth•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*
Būddiēs! Thīs week I lēārned that a tiny strāight linē ōver a vōwēl is cāllēd a mācrōn. In sōmē circles īt īs knōwn ās “the läzy män’s ümläüt.”
Zūm, thē ridēshāring stārt-up, ūsēs a mācrōn in its name, sō pēōple knōw yōū prōnōūncē īt līke “Zoom,” which wās ālrēādy tākēn. (Likēwisē Xoom ānd Zume.)
Thīs lēsson wās pārt of a dērānged journēy I tōōk intō thē dārk hēārt ōf fāst-sōūnding stārt-ūp nāmēs, and thē rēsult īs this ārticlē. I lōst my mind māking thīs fōr yōū, sō plēāse enjōy īt:
💨💨💨Zoom, Xoom, Zūm: Why Does Every Start-Up Sound Fast Now? 💨💨💨
An investigation into Zoomd, Zoomi, Zoomy and Zoomies. Also, Zoomin. And Zoomvy and Zoomly. And …
My mom had a positive review, with one point of clarification:
🚴🚴🚴I also wrote about people panic-buying Pelotons. 🚴🚴🚴
🤝🤝🤝And about Uber, Lyft, Airbnb and the sharing economy. 🤝🤝🤝
(get it? macron???)
Important Business Matters
Startup everyone’s into: Instacart?
Startup everyone’s over: Instacart?
Reason to go on living: The ability to bullshit is perceived as a sign of intelligence.
Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: The ability to bullshit is perceived as a sign of intelligence.
Latest heartbreak: Flying is a nightmare.
Latest delight: Quar memes.
Latest thing the kids are into: Buying booze underage on delivery apps.
Latest thing the millennials are into: “Pandecorating.”
Latest corona casualty: RIP dress pants. RIP Google smart city.
Latest corona villain: Karen. Also… murder hornets.
Latest Zoom snafu: The Supreme Court mystery toilet flush.
Latest memo from your boss:
lol nothing matters
Fellow Business Heroes™, it is time to ask ourselves, have we ever mistaken our ability to bullshit as a sign of intelligence?
current status, expressed by stock photography:
*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•the end•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•
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