yeezii, yeezum, yeezy

this newsletter is not for resale

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•by your best friend erin griffith•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

Friends:

Last week, for a story, I had to look up the plural of the word “Yeezy;” it is “Yeezys.” The story is about the business of sneaker reselling, which is much larger than you probably think. StockX, one such site, is now worth $1 billion! Nike has mostly ignored this weird, fast-growing business, except for the time they trolled sneakerheads by writing “NOT FOR RESALE” on a pair of Jordan 1s. (Naturally, those sneakers were immediately selling for thousands of dollars on StockX.)

I covered all that here:

👟📉 👟 Buy Low-Tops, Sell High-Tops 👟📈👟

I also wrote about some 🦄BIG IDEAS🦄 I’ve been thinking about in startup land. Like, what happens when startups that rode the hype train to unicorn-land run out of rocket fuel? Or some other mashup of bad startup metaphors???

The hallmark of the unicorn startups is that they raised so much money they’re basically fail-proof. But amid IPO-mania, it’s worth asking what happened to the ones that are nowhere close to going public—where momentum slowed, malaise set in, and they got stuck just… muddling along.

Lots of companies are in this position. But few were as beloved, like truly WHITE HOT, as Evernote once was. It’s hard to even remember that now! Evernote had a gift shop in the lobby for superfans! They sold more millions of dollars worth of Japanese socks! Here’s what happened to Evernote:

🐘🦄 A Unicorn Lost in the Valley, Evernote Blows Up the ‘Fail Fast’ Gospel 🐘🦄

Fittingly, this story earned me yet another unicorn portmanteau milestone for the New York Times:

Now back to my vacation. I’m spending it in my tiny Ohio hometown, where wheat fields are visible from Main Street. It’s quiet.

Important Business Matters

Startup everyone’s into: The Business Heroes™ at TaTaTu, a crypto Netflix, raised $575 million in an ICO then pivoted away from blockchain. (deep inhale, bahahaha)

Startup everyone’s over: Detention center suppliers.

Reason to go on living: #UnwantedIvanka.

Reason to take up residence under your weighted blanket: Business Hero™ Elizabeth Holmes has revealed her defense strategy: Shoot the messenger.

Latest crush: The crypto bros have an Old Town Road remix and of course it’s called “All-Time Lows.”

Latest heartbreak: The Taco Bell Hotel is very popular. So is Flat Earth FC.

Latest thing the kids are into: The Charmin Forever Roll, a roll of toilet paper that is … UNIMAGINABLY HUGE.

Latest thing the olds are into: Recoiling in horror at the headline that (GASP) less than a third of millennials (GASP) own a hammer (FAINT).  

Latest thing the capitalists are into: Sometimes they lose their ass…

…but its all good if there’s no impact on output.

lol nothing matters

How did we celebrate Cephalopod Week?

IRL club

Thanks to all the BFFs and BEFs (best enemies forever) who showed up at NYT’s panel about what the the tech I.P.O.s are doing to San Francisco. It was at a library (the best) and the audience was full of smart, opinionated Times readers (the BEST). 💗 

current status, expressed by stock photography:

“NOT FOR RESALE”

*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•the end•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

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